i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
