Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
