I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
