It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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