What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
