i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
