we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
