Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
