Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
