One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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