Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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