don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
