she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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