Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
