just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
