after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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