Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
