I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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