haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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