Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
