well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
