He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
