I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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