Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm passing your future prison.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
