you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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