2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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