you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
