Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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