So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
