This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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