thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
