just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
