Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
