I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
