I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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