dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
