Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
