So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
