So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
