He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
