I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
