Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
