we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
