Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
