I just made out with a guy for $7.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
