Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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