Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
