:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
