What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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