Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
